One of the things we established in prior weeks was a goal. "Where do I ultimately want to be in my Life." Meaning career, family, and purpose. After a few weeks of trying to find where I want to be inside of me, I came to a decision. I ultimately aim to be a motivational Father, a dynamic Husband, a successful Businessman, and an Influential Artist. I want to Love my life, and all of the people in it. Regardless of whatever it is they do and are. I want to be the teacher, the leader, the friend that God wants me to be. As cliche as all of these answers sound. They are true. They are goals that I have begun to aim for. It was not always this way.
I never really had any direction that I wanted to go in for my life. "One day at a time," I used to tell myself. But there was no ambition in that. It was more like a hidden, "Wake up and do what you know unless something more interesting happens to be taking place, then do that instead." I never looked to the future. Never really set goals that were big. My biggest goals were to finish the week with a big paycheck, go out and have a blast on the weekend, find someone to hang out with and form some sort of relationship with. Minor things that took me nowhere.
My first ambitious goal was shortly after I began getting tattooed. I would spend my free time outside of my job with the artists that were in the shop I was getting tattooed at. Every week I would be at the studio at least four days a week. Drawing, hanging out, talking about whatever. It wasn't until one day, about three months or so after I started spending time with them all, that one of the artist, a dude named Jimmie, walked by and said to me, "Your drawings are pretty good man, you ever think about tattooing?" To which I replied "Not Really."
We talked some more about it, along with the other artists in the room. They began to tell me about the industry and how it is awesome to be able to do something you love for a living. But the weird thing was, I was already doing something I enjoyed. I was a cook. Nothing fancy, just short order line cook at a sports bar and grill. But I liked it a lot. After having that conversation that day, I would have to say it was the first time I think I ever made a goal for something I wanted to do. I stuck to it. It took me almost two years but I eventually landed an apprenticeship, and traveled nine hours to another state to get it.
You would think that would have motivated me to make some more ambitious goals in my life. But sad to say, it didn't. I just cruised along with it like all the rest of my jobs. Going with the flow. "One day at a time." Even after I changed my beliefs, and my Faith. Nothing. Just a job, just a social connection, just another thing I wanted to do.
After about four years in, I began to abuse the fact that my job is a social atmosphere. I also abused the connections you can make with the customers, and the privacy issues that come with certain situations in this industry. I am not proud of any of it. I wasn't proud then either, I just did not have focus on it, nor did I understand what it was I was struggling with. So I really didn't pay any attention to the destruction I was ultimately creating.
Fast forward through the wreckage I have described in prior blogs. I have now starting making Goals for myself. I am slowly building the plans and taking the Steps needed to achieve these goals. My councilor helps me understand what it is I have been going through, and what it is that effects the decision making. He also explains how I need to move forward away from it, and overcome it.
My career: I am an artist. Its what I love and what I am passionate for. So set goals and create an external force that will keep me focused. Projects that must be done by certain dates for art shows. Market myself cause nobody will know your there if you do not advertise it.
My Family: Be a good spouse. Pray for her, Pray with her. Be active, Be open, Be True. Learn with and from one another. Love her like she deserves. Be a great dad. Be active with him, teach him, play games, hang out, spend time with him. Show him you care, show him he is loved. Be a good Friend. Shut your mouth every once and a while and listen to what they have to say. Be there for them when they need it. Open your life to them. Love them as they are, not what they should be. Be a good brother and a good son. Love them as your parents and siblings. Share your stories with them, and listen to there. Tell them you love them, show them you love them. Pray for ALL of them. Bless them within your means and be blessed by it.
Each step towards success is a step you MUST take ON PURPOSE. Each step may not lead in the right direction, but the apostle Paul talks about his journey to the prize in all of his letters. He tries to go here, he tries to go there, he tries to preach here, he tries to teach there and continually gets stopped by forces he cannot control. But it is those blockages that lead him to a path that allows him to continue doing what he was meant to do. Each door closed makes him learn more patience. Makes him sharpen his focus. Makes him see what direction it is that he is supposed to go in and allows him to learn more about that way. Makes him become the man God wanted him to be.
The path to success is never straight, ever!
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