Recap & Observation

So I did not get any posts up lately. Not because of disregard to my purpose of it. Mainly because of all the outside interruptions that have caused my focus to be elsewhere. I apologize to anyone who is following this journal. If this is your first read on my threads, Thanks for visiting. To better understand what this is all about, please read from the first post back.

It's funny to mention about reading back over the things I have already wrote. I am very happy with what is taking place here. I am happy to share my walk through my struggles and my connection to my faith, and how the two are collaborating. No matter how happy anyone may be, there is always a crowd, or sometimes just a few select, ready to dump on your efforts. I won't go into any details or speak my views on what I feel about certain people, and situations I have come across (Lawyer Recommended), But what I will mention is how entertaining it is when people take cheap shots and use others openness about their struggles to try and make for a good laugh amongst friends.

I mention this because recently I came across a thread on a social network where former associates of my lady and I, decided to have a good laugh amongst each other at our expense. Writing things to the effect of: "Well maybe I will do such and such things, then I will brag online about having a Sex Addiction and just go around bangin' all the people I want!"

I won't lie, it took me a few minutes to actually have a good chuckle about that comment, as well as the few that followed. It was kinda aggravating at first, but then I just realized these words come from upset sources, who must have not read what I write here. But I don't blame anyone for saying what they say either. I have been both questioned, and congratulated for posting this stuff online. But like I say in person as well as what I said in the beginning, I do not write this for self gratification. Nor do I write it to boast about my accomplishments.

So why air these things out online? Why publicly open myself up to these comments or attacks? Because I want to let anyone who reads and may be struggling or knows someone struggling, that there are ways to help this type of addiction. To let people know that the thing they struggle with inside, has a way to be overcome. That faith in something bigger than you, and trust in something that is supernatural, can and will help you get back your life before the addiction overtakes you. Maybe through my writings about my own path, they may find hope or help to take a step towards overcoming theirs.

It is amazing now, how so many different things are considered acceptable by mainstream society. Alcoholism is normal. It is considered a way of life. A weekend spent getting wasted is a normally scheduled weekend event for many people ranging from ages 17-30. Maybe even younger. Drug addiction has become so normal that most people only consider those who depend on narcotics, "actual" addicts. Yet if you were to go to any house in America, there is a good chance you will find some Over-the-Counter meds and quite possibly some sort of anxiety med, diet pill, sleep aids or caffeine substitute. Obesity is a terrible after effect caused by addiction to food. Many try and use some sort of medical excuse as there reason for being Fat, when truthfully, Laziness and Unwillingness to learn most likely accounts for more the 2/3 of it. We become addicted to Instant Meals and Pick and Run style eating, because it fits our schedule better. Media Addiction goes almost completely unnoticed all together.

We wake up, check our emails and messages, go to the bathroom, turn on our music players, shower, eat with the TV on, take our pills for the day, read texts as we drive to work, keep our social network connections running and up to the minute posting while doing our jobs we get paid to do, go to lunch and gossip about whats been happening online, drink an energy drink or $5 coffee, go back to our social network hubs and half ass the rest of our work day, drive home with our music players on high, texting more, hit the drive through for a bite to eat, turn up the "reality" TV while we shower, make some phone calls while we get dressed, crank up the music to get us "in the mood, or out of the mood" while texiting on the way to the bar, then begin to drink the day away!

Some details may be slightly changed depending on the lifestyle, but I believe this is the life we lead, that is unnoticeably soaked in addictions.

What does this have to do with Sexual Addiction?

At any time during these days of mass fulfilment, ask yourself: How many times of the day may I happen to cross a NSFW website or add post? How many Text messages did I send/receive that had some Sexual Innuendo or straight up Sexual Content or Photos? How many songs did I listen to today, and possibly sing along too, involve lyrics connected with sexual acts or hooking up? How many TV shows do I watch a day, and how many of these shows openly portray sexual acts and have TV safe or implied nudity, sexual commentary, or adult theme jokes and innuendo? How often when Networking Socially do I cross a page for someone and get caught up browsing for a seductive or provocative photo or two in their collection? How much time do I spend online openly flirting and commenting in a sexual manner or with sexual innuendo to friends and/or strangers? What am I looking for when I browse through magazines on the shelf?

Do you begin to see a pattern? Sexual Addiction is just as normal as many other addictions in society. It is even used so openly, in everyday life that we hardly notice its appearance. It could almost be said that a large part of society has become addicted in a sense already.

So why the hate, why the disgust, why the poking fun at people who may struggle with this type of addiction and not the others? I believe it's because of misunderstanding, as well as characterization. I believe people hear "Sex Addict," they think of someone who preys on weak minds for self sexual satisfaction. I also believe the term may trigger association with Pedophilia, Prostitution, Rape, and Pornography. Also, the term "Sexual Addiction," may cause one to automatically think it is an addiction to Intercourse, and the act of having sex. When truthfully it is the addiction to the rush, the high, and the euphoric feeling created by the chemical released into the brain and the body during events, thoughts and/or actions related to sex. Addicts are "hooked" on their own body chemical.

Like many addictions that are accepted by society, Sexual Addiction can be thrown in the mix and passed off as normal. You will here things like; "It's not a problem, I just like to have sex," and " I am not hurting anyone by watching these videos," or " These messages are harmless, it's just talking." But unknowingly, we are hurting someone. We are hurting our self. We are slowly building up a tolerance to ourselves, making a need for a stronger, more powerful for of stimulation to create our high.

So through all this, am I saying sex is wrong? Absolutely not!
Am I saying that Sexual Conversations and Photo play is wrong? I don't believe so.
Am I saying movies and music with Adult Content are wrong? Not really.

What I am saying is this; We as humans are a very complex and planned out creation. Sexual stimulation is the ultimate expression of external intimacy and connection with someone. As well as a connection of spirit. That someone should be our partner. The one person we share these things with. The one person we do these things together with and enjoy with one another. The one we choose to share our selves with, and depend on to reach that high with.

For years I never practiced these actions. I freely gave myself to others without thought of the repercussions. When that started feeling slow, I would seek other forms of stimulation. New forms of conversation, visual stimulation, and so on. Continually building up my tolerance for the high. Until one day, the continuing search for the high began to destroy my life, piece by piece by piece. My frustrations would lead me to seek a high more frequently. In these searches is where you find the addiction taking over. Once the mind enters a certain realm of impure thoughts, it is almost impossible to return to rational, normal thinking. Then it end one of two ways, in the brief release and high, or a crash and burn into further frustration. Either way, adding further stress to the problem.

If any of this seems to apply to your life, do not be hesitant to seek help. There are councilors and therapist who are educated and trained in helping individuals as well as couples overcome the sexual addiction. We first have to be true to ourselves, and admit we can use help. Even if it does not seem like your story may be as severe as my stories, or your story may seem heavier than my stories, help is out there. It may be a little tougher to find, but that's where taking some time to seek guidance from God helped me. He gave me strength to finally confess to myself "I need Help."